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Asking for references in a job search without antagonizing your acquaintances is something many job searchers don’t think about until they have lost a job, but in fact, it should be part of an ongoing process.

Not only should you be saving any glowing comment cards from customers when you have a job, but you should save copies of favorable reviews from your jobs and any other special appreciation letters you receive. If your job search is a result of a layoff, getting a basic letter of recommendation at the time when you are laid off should be part of your job search preparation. This is just like degrees and certifications are part of your resume.

One reason for this is that people move, change phone numbers, and forget important things that were exceptional about you, and the things you think they will say when a future employer calls. As time goes by, some of the people you think will give you a good reference may actually hurt you during the job search process. In fact, if they are also looking for a job, it is not unheard of to find that they become competition for the job themselves once you have contacted them and asked for their support.

Asking for references in a job search needs to be a well-thought process that is part of your resume. You save and collect any documentation you can, of your past performance on previous jobs. At times, the best references may not actually be past bosses; you might find that past employees, company bankers, or competitors may be better, if you are on a friendly basis with them.

When it comes to management positions, past employees that think you were a great boss, who taught them a lot and were supportive of them make much better references. This is better than giving your ex-mother-in-law or best friend as references, for example. The other thing to consider about using unbiased acquaintances as references is that they are more believable to potential employers and highlight actual traits instead of emotional references.

When it comes to asking for references from past employers, the best thing is to get a letter when you leave to take another position. You have to keep in mind that they may also get laid off eventually, and a human resources department will do little more than verify dates and positions. They normally won’t comment on personal performance as company policy and law may dictate what they will release, even if you were the best employee the company ever had.

Potential employers realize your friends and family are likely to give you a good reference. If they don’t, you certainly won’t get hired! On the other hand, if the company banker thought you were very conscientious, that will earn more credence with a potential employer, than some past employers can get you.

Carefully think about who you use as a reference, be straightforward, and ask if they would mind giving the reference or writing a brief letter. Sometimes, the best references are not the ones you immediately think of. Also, be sure you are constantly collecting a “personal reference portfolio” to supplement your resume and enhance your personal references.

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